Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Teacher Caught With Pot










I had some thoughts about this article, which highlighted a 17-year old's plea to let his teacher keep his job after marijuana was found in the teacher's car. Of the teacher, he said:

"He talked, just talked, for whole class periods about the nature of life, as if it was a course in philosophy… he eventually would find a tangent and run with it. The class never got bored."

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Upsize Surprise










Starting Monday, January 23, the names of our hot cup sizes will shift to accommodate our brand new 24oz Extra Large cup. For example, a large Double-Double will become a medium Double-Double.There isn't a change in the price or amount of beverage - it's only the name of the size that's changing. (via Tim Hortons)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Dearest Mr Akpan










*Special thanks to Heather for forwarding this email.*

From: Federick Akpan
Subject: INTERESTED IN YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS

HELLO,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOUR STORE THAT:

WE ARE VERY MUCH INTERESTED IN YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS, WE ARE WILLING TO BUY LARGE QUANTITY OF YOUR PRODUCTS AND RESELL TO OUR RETAILERS HERE IN WEST AFRICA.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

What Are You Really Saying, Craigslist?



I've been scanning Craigslist for gigs - which I thought might be film or TV work, as I'm inclined to search for - and it seems that a lot of them are just thinly-veiled ads for sex slaves, cleaning ladies and cleaning lady sex slaves (the best of both worlds.)

Of course, you can't just say, "Does anybody want to fuck me and/or clean my house?" because that belongs in the personals section and, gross! Only creepy people post there. You say, "Young entrepreneur looking for a female friend." Sounds a little more like it could be a job for just the right whore girl.

Only sometimes they're open to interpretation by assholes like me. Case in point:

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Entitled To Damages: VOL 3




You might very well be retarded. Then again, you just might be Entitled To Damages.