tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80650941548501280992024-02-07T20:38:41.048-05:00RodgerjamesWhen you read a blog, you're reading every other blog that blog has come in contact with. Please read responsibly.RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-46921363857932073442012-09-04T09:59:00.001-04:002012-09-04T10:20:03.791-04:00Taking A Position On Sex Strikes
The female wing of a civil rights group is urging women in Togo to stage a week-long sex strike to demand the resignation of the country's president. (via)
Hold all the cabinet meetings and votes you want, guys; When it comes down to a sex strike, you know your economy is in pretty bad shape.
Women are being asked to start withholding sex from their husbands or partners as of Monday … the RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-36059243443900280342012-08-07T15:38:00.001-04:002012-08-07T15:38:57.356-04:00Dearest Martha Day
Dearest Martha Day,
I was recently visiting a friend for afternoon tea and I spied your delectable dessert baking book in his kitchen.
Hot damn, Martha!
The Amazon description got the baker in me hard:
Covering all the traditonal teatime favorites such as gingersnaps, fruitcake and blueberry muffins to more special-occasions treats such as light as air meringues, black forest gateau RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-3358027734502603022012-07-21T09:28:00.001-04:002012-07-21T09:29:30.492-04:00Timbits I Can Do Without
When I go to the Tim Hortons drive-thru and order 'assorted' timbits, don't they know I mean 'no plain'? Who ever wants those?
Why do they even have plain timbits? They only keep them so, when people drive through with a dog in the car, they can go, "Hey, does your dog want a timbit? It has the taste and consistency of cardboard. He'll love it." And none of those plain ones with the white RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-32981169210541275642012-05-09T22:38:00.000-04:002012-05-10T08:27:36.948-04:00Surgery Surprise
Let’s jump right into this one:
A Polish woman is facing three years in prison after she removed all of her ex-boyfriend's teeth during dental surgery just days after their breakup.
Say you just went through a nasty breakup with your girlfriend and this now ex-girlfriend happens to be a dentist. Now, say you happen to get a toothache and need to see a dentist.
What are the RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-9252480382707429022012-04-30T19:15:00.000-04:002012-04-30T19:22:03.928-04:00The Hundred Dollar Half-Second
This is an expensive lesson in preparation and lightning fast decision-making. And it only takes a half-second.
Perhaps you can relate. Perhaps not.
It's literally that half-second when you step away from your car and
think, "Something is wrong... Do I have my keys?" and you're pretty damn
sure you do not. A lot happens in that half-second. You glance back to see
your door RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-82875348074457507252012-01-24T03:08:00.001-05:002012-01-24T03:08:33.356-05:00Teacher Caught With Pot
I had some thoughts about this article, which highlighted a 17-year old's plea to let his teacher keep his job after marijuana was found in the teacher's car. Of the teacher, he said:
"He talked, just talked, for whole class periods about the nature of life, as if it was a course in philosophy… he eventually would find a tangent and run with it. The class never got bored."
So, he was RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-32133129584839041182012-01-18T18:01:00.000-05:002012-01-18T18:01:00.662-05:00The Upsize Surprise
Starting Monday, January 23, the names of our hot cup sizes will shift to accommodate our brand new 24oz Extra Large cup. For example, a large Double-Double will become a medium Double-Double.There isn't a change in the price or amount of beverage - it's only the name of the size that's changing. (via Tim Hortons)
Surprise! Time to get fucked at the drive thru, folks.
"Can I get a RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-87244348854100747712012-01-17T01:12:00.019-05:002012-01-17T02:23:59.954-05:00Dearest Mr Akpan
*Special thanks to Heather for forwarding this email.*
From: Federick AkpanSubject: INTERESTED IN YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS
HELLO,
THIS IS TO INFORM YOUR STORE THAT:
WE ARE VERY MUCH INTERESTED IN YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS, WE ARE WILLING TO BUY LARGE QUANTITY OF YOUR PRODUCTS AND RESELL TO OUR RETAILERS HERE IN WEST AFRICA.
WE JUST NEED LITTLE SAMPLES OF YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS AND THEIR RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-61167841557612686512012-01-10T23:54:00.003-05:002012-01-11T12:47:18.188-05:00What Are You Really Saying, Craigslist?
I've been scanning Craigslist for gigs - which I thought might be film or TV work, as I'm inclined to search for - and it seems that a lot of them are just thinly-veiled ads for sex slaves, cleaning ladies and cleaning lady sex slaves (the best of both worlds.)
Of course, you can't just say, "Does anybody want to fuck me and/or clean my house?" because that belongs in the personals section andRodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-14067254453525972162012-01-03T12:46:00.000-05:002012-01-03T12:46:46.066-05:00Entitled To Damages: VOL 3
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Courier New";
panose-1:2 7 3 9 2 2 5 2 4 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Times;
panose-1:2 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-36507308418294385832011-10-25T17:44:00.000-04:002011-10-25T17:44:23.002-04:00Dear Guy: An Open Letter To A Dick
Dear Guy In Line In Front Of Me At Loblaws,
When I approached the express lane, the cashier had just finished ringing you through. "Can I get a bag... for free?" you asked with a grin. 'Obviously, you cannot', I thought. 'Who the hell do you think you are? You must be joking'. And I thought you were joking, so I leaned in and joked along.
"That's what I want too!" I said to both you andRodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-43507716572045350552011-08-10T07:36:00.001-04:002012-01-17T03:08:47.406-05:00The Gas Pump: A Caution Notice Critique
This notice is posted on gas pumps everywhere so, if you’ve ever pumped gas, you’ve probably ignored it several times.
I know there’s a lot of information here and I know it can be overwhelming. Did I say overwhelming? I meant redundant. That’s why nobody reads it. It’s boring. They really should consider adding pictures.
First off, if you want to draw attention to RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-73936566299313226962011-06-04T15:13:00.002-04:002011-08-10T01:28:17.395-04:00Inferring From Horoscopes
Aries: You're a fucking bore.
Cancer: You suck at your job.
Capricorn: You hate a lot of people.
Aquarius: you have anger management problems.
Gemini: You're a drama queen.
Leo: You're a stuck-up prick.
Libra: You have anger management problems.
Pisces: You're poor.
Sagittarius: You're repulsive.
Scorpio: You're lazy.
Taurus: You worry about too much shitRodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-18124218735712814612011-05-14T12:53:00.000-04:002011-05-14T12:53:35.000-04:00The Metro Editor Can Be Fired Any Day Now
You've got to be kidding me. The fact that this got to print is ridiculous, unacceptable, and ridiculously unacceptable. Who edits this shit? Were they on vacation? Or did they have more pressing issues than doing their job - spell-checking the newspaper - like determining the consistency of their lunch meat condiments? I'm thisclose to reading the Toronto Sun. Do you hear me? The fuckingRodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-24807148154224357302011-04-02T15:17:00.010-04:002011-04-03T11:46:13.918-04:00Extreme Brand Loyalty
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin-top:0cm;
margin-right:0cm;
margin-bottom:10.0pt;
margin-left:0cm;
mso-pagination:RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-24184737078491275792011-03-31T10:18:00.000-04:002011-03-31T10:18:54.184-04:008 Crappy Gmail Labs
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:"";
margin-top:0cm;
margin-right:0cm;
margin-bottom:10.0pt;
margin-left:0cm;
mso-pagination:RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-83825550153395555552011-03-16T16:24:00.010-04:002011-03-31T13:59:44.584-04:00Eff The Snapshot Discount
I just saw a commercial for Progressive Auto Insurance and they were hawking this product called Snapshot Discount.
What the hell is Snapshot Discount? Glad you asked.
Snapshot Discount is a program where you can save up to 30% on your car insurance. "Sweet," you say! "I drive a car and up to 30% is a lot! How does it work?"
Here’s how it works:
Plug the device into your car.
We’ll RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-88545920631164968352011-03-01T01:19:00.001-05:002011-03-31T14:05:09.336-04:00Just Saying
Just Saying is a guest post by Graham Kent. Visit this hilarious bastard over at Speaking Of Segues.
Dr. Phil is on in the background because of the few channels I get, it's one that comes in the clearest and isn't a non-stop infomercial selling vacuums. It's just white noise while I work. Here's the story today.
A 17-year old girl is on the show. She got pregnant when she was 15, RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-28810437966016821802011-02-01T11:56:00.003-05:002011-03-31T14:05:50.252-04:003 Recent Grievances
@font-face { font-family: "Cambria";}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }
TIM HORTONS BAGEL BELTI remember the first time I saw a billboard for the Bagel BELT. It was at Dundas and Sorauren. Bacon, egg, lettuce and tomato. BELT. Cute. And delicious for breakfast. RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-68553016017337029752011-01-28T00:13:00.004-05:002011-03-31T14:00:32.956-04:00Entitled To Damages: VOL 2
Why is it that, in this day and age, anytime you have a problem with someone or something, you can just sue the shit out of them?
Have you ever inadvertently walked into a mall fountain? You just may be Entitled To Damages.
ALLEGATION: Caty Cruz Marrero is questioning the professionalism of mall security workers after a video of her tumbling into a mall fountain while texting went RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-72708657395598459442010-11-24T00:25:00.003-05:002010-11-24T00:35:08.781-05:00Dearest Dr John King
*Special thanks to Heather for forwarding this important message.*
From: john king
Subject: GOOD DAY,
My Dear,
I am Hon Dr John A King. I am the United Nations Presidential Task Force Chairman for Refugees here in Ghana. I here by pass this information to you that the Member of the Parliament is looking for God fearing person who can be the Ambassador to the African refugees. The RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-82536677714847016822010-11-11T00:21:00.004-05:002011-02-01T11:57:55.551-05:00Rodge Hodge Podge 4
Let's get this out of the way first and foremost...
Did everyone else know about this? I feel like such an idiot. He totally looks like a chubby, old Bill Murray! In my defense, I’ve never seen them side-by-side… well, except in Groundhog Day.
Shut up.
Yeah, shouldn’t your final resting place, a boring six-foot deep dirt grave with a headstone marking the site of your decaying RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-30869048640475655682010-11-04T23:24:00.007-04:002010-11-08T23:59:31.157-05:00Just Me Being A Jerk1) Restaurant greetings - They used to say, “How can I help you?” or “What can I get for you?” A personal greeting. Not necessarily sincere, but direct nonetheless. At McDonalds I get, “Can I help who’s next?” As general as possible. Like a fucking cattle call. Clearly, I’m next. I’m at the front of the line.Sometimes, it’s “Can I help someone over here?” as they look around the lobby, waving to RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-27662495743755198252010-11-04T00:02:00.006-04:002010-11-09T23:28:48.419-05:00Shooting For a RecordWith a headline like this:You're bound to pique my curiosity.The gunman who survived at least 21 bullet wounds in a Harlem shootout with cops probably broke a record, a forensic expert said Sunday. Probably broke a record? Awww, his mom would be so proud!But what kind of crappy record is that to break? Why does it even count as a record if it’s involuntary?(Then again, who would get shot RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8065094154850128099.post-78813227780511692602010-11-02T23:27:00.002-04:002010-12-02T17:26:33.879-05:00Right Before Cake Boss.I actually wrote this a while ago and decided it was too offensive to post. I've since decided I was right. Enjoy.
I was recently watching Little People, Big World on TLC because I’m a whore for reality TV. And midgets. And midget whores.
That reminds me! A friend of my sister's gave me a midget porn DVD for Christmas. She told me I could re-gift it. Eff that! I just mix it RodgerJameshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659232108399073053noreply@blogger.com4