Rules of the Road in Toronto: VOL 1

The problem with the rules of the road in Toronto is that there aren’t any. Oh, they put up a lot of signs. They look really nice. But no one really pays attention to them (Maybe that’s why there’s been nine fatal accidents in the past nine days around here. Or that there’s been 16 in 2010 already.)

Mmmmm, Rotten Bananas (At The Bottom.)

I figured out how to get on the TTC for free. But it only works around the beginning of the month. Here’s what you do:

My Favourite Bus Driver

Whenever I take the bus, I try to make a point of thanking the driver for the ride. The dude sits behind a giant wheel driving a bunch of thankless fucks around town in a vehicle the size of a city block. If he wanted to kill you, he totally could.

Adventures Of The Garbage 'Coons

I saw some raccoons the other day, rummaging through the garbage behind Pizza Pizza. And it was weird because it wasn’t even dark. It was broad daylight and these ballsy little bandits were just doing their thing, not giving a shit about the people passing by. Mike and I tried to get closer and closer but, when people walking by saw the raccoons, every one of them jumped and ran like they had seen a ghost.