5 Alternate Ways To Get Famous

A lot of people aspire to be famous these days. Unfortunately, a lot of people are also talentless pieces of shit. Don’t worry, though. Lack of talent or contribution to the human race at all won’t stop you from becoming a celebrity. Here’s a helpful list of ways to skyrocket yourself to celebrity superstardom:

IKEA Makes a Bold Move

If you haven't seen the new IKEA catalogue yet, you should pick it up. It's fantastic. It's probably the second best catalogue featuring Swedish models, next to Victoria's Secret. The only difference being that I've never fantasized about an IKEA spread. Not sexually, anyways.

Cut It Out, VOL 1: Supercouples

You know what I can do without? Several things. In fact, there are so many things that need to be eliminated from existence that if one were to accurately describe the amount, it would be somewhere in the range of a metric assload. Trust me, that's a lot.

The $60 Lesson In Stupidity

I’m at the Laundromat last night, making sure my socks all come out of the washer. I put them in there in pairs, I’m damn sure gonna get them out of there in pairs. I toss the laundry in the dryer and chill out with The Watchtower.

WTF Infomercial - Slap Chop

*If you'd like me to check out a WTF Infomercial, share it in the comments. Also, be sure to check out WTF Infomercial - The Snuggie and WTF Is The Seal Pelt.

The latest in what is sure to be a string of WTF Infomercials? The Slap Chop, starring Vince Shlomi (lol, Shlomi...)

Sighting? Indeed.

Hours after Michael Jackson passed away, some guy in England noticed an eerie image on the hood of his car.

"The obvious explanation is that it seems to be some sort of cloud formation that just happened at the time."

The Rodge Hodge Podge

The Rodge Hodge Podge is actually an updated - and more importantly, properly-spelled - version of the last blog that consisted of random thoughts tossed together, The Raj Haj Paj. Only now it doesn’t sound like an Indian dish.

Watch Out For Cheetos

I ran across this story the other day from Shelbyville, TN.

Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff's Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a 'verbal altercation.' Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.

Going Up? Not Likely.

I stumbled across this Toronto Star debate musing diatribe piece on how many balloons it would take to lift a house, inspired by the new Pixar film Up.

My Stanley Cup Highlights

So, the Penguins kicked some ass in Game 7 tonight. Well, it was only 2-1 so they kicked just enough ass. Speaking of ass, this guy was definitely checking out Crosby's.