WTF is the Sealpelt?

Aw, c’mon… what the hell? Did a Snuggie fuck a seal?



Read the story behind this fabric monstrosity.

For you lazy tarts (which is probably everyone), here’s a short synopsis: A farmer finds a seal pelt. Then he finds a naked woman. He marries the woman. They have kids. She finds the seal pelt, puts it on and dives into the ocean. She never comes back. The end.

That's right… the farmer fucked a seal, then she abandoned him. Turns out she has a seal husband or something. And like, seven seal kids that she abandoned.

That is the saddest story I’ve ever heard.

What a whorish seal.
What a crappy idea for a sleeping bag.
What a fantastic idea for a movie.

(PS – I think the hot naked woman should be played by Heidi Klum in the movie version of this story because a) she’s crazy hot and b) she is, indeed, fucking a Seal.)



“And so, in memory of the naked seal woman, we don these fake seal skins and cry ourselves to sleep…” (commence barking like a seal until you fall asleep.)

Anyways… it’s an aptly named garment because, if I see anyone in this thing, I’m going to club them to death.