When I go to the Tim Hortons drive-thru and order 'assorted' timbits, don't they know I mean 'no plain'? Who ever wants those?
Why do they even have plain timbits? They only keep them so, when people drive through with a dog in the car, they can go, "Hey, does your dog want a timbit? It has the taste and consistency of cardboard. He'll love it." And none of those plain ones with the white frosting on so they look like the jelly-filled ones but are akin to biting into a ball of desert sand. That's the worst kind of surprise.
You know what's a great surprise? Cinnamon sugar timbits. I never get them anymore at all! And what the fuck happened to your blueberry timbits? Those were delicious. Can we swap them out for the sour cream glazed? They're good for little more than dunking. Please include those red jelly-filled, frosty white bastards, along with plenty of dutchie, honey cruller, chocolate and blueberry. No sour cream glazed! Got it?
Okay, a couple of sour cream glazed... but fuck plain timbits.
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