Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dear Guy: An Open Letter To A Dick

Dear Guy In Line In Front Of Me At Loblaws,

When I approached the express lane, the cashier had just finished ringing you through. "Can I get a bag... for free?" you asked with a grin. 'Obviously, you cannot', I thought. 'Who the hell do you think you are? You must be joking'. And I thought you were joking, so I leaned in and joked along.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Gas Pump: A Caution Notice Critique

This notice is posted on gas pumps everywhere so, if you’ve ever pumped gas, you’ve probably ignored it several times.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Metro Editor Can Be Fired Any Day Now


You've got to be kidding me. The fact that this got to print is ridiculous, unacceptable, and ridiculously unacceptable. Who edits this shit? Were they on vacation? Or did they have more pressing issues than doing their job - spell-checking the newspaper - like determining the consistency of their lunch meat condiments? I'm thisclose to reading the Toronto Sun. Do you hear me? The fucking Sun.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Extreme Brand Loyalty

There’s no shortage of companies offering discounts or cash for their customers’ undying loyalty and Ecko has just joined the game. Are you still wearing Ecko? Are you still paying full price for it? If you answered yes to those questions, you’re an idiot and, being an idiot, you obviously haven’t heard of Ecko’s Branded For Life campaign.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

8 Crappy Gmail Labs

Gmail Labs is a testing ground for experimental features that aren't quite ready for primetime. They may change, break or disappear at any time.
I hope these ones change, break or disappear soon because I hate them.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Eff The Snapshot Discount

I just saw a commercial for Progressive Auto Insurance and they were hawking this product called Snapshot Discount.

What the hell is Snapshot Discount? Glad you asked.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

3 Recent Grievances

Friday, January 28, 2011

Entitled To Damages: VOL 2

Why is it that, in this day and age, anytime you have a problem with someone or something, you can just sue the shit out of them?

Have you ever inadvertently walked into a mall fountain? You just may be Entitled To Damages.