Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Crack Spiders, Snakes & Lights For Jerks.

I’m doing my part for the environment and spreading this video about spiders.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Procter, Gamble, Silex & Pizza.

There’s Procter & Gamble. And Procter Silex. But they’re different Procters. Whatever happened to Silex? Did Procter muscle him out? I don’t see that guy as often as I used to.

But that could also be because I don’t really have a reason to go down the kitchen appliances aisle.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Apples, Porn and Pepsi Wars.

I went to the Apple store to get a pair of headphones the other day. Good luck trying to pay for anything in there. They have tables full of iPod and computer displays, all being used by kids who are too poor to afford them. And a Genius Bar at the back, being used by people who are too stupid to load music on their new iPod. No cash register.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Is It In Poor Taste To Title This 'House Of Pain'?

(01-13) 18:13 PST SAN RAFAEL -- At least 34 people committed suicide last year by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, according to figures released Tuesday by the Marin County coroner's office. The total was one more than in 2007, the coroner said.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Nobody comes to my door anymore.

And, frankly, I’m concerned.

Are all the Girl Guides dead? Why haven’t I see any cookies in like, five years?

Sunday, January 11, 2009


When stores started out, you could go into say, Ernie's General Store, and get yourself a big ol’ bag of flour or a giant can of soup. But really, Ernie would get it for you.

All the shit was behind the counter and you would tell him what you want, then he would climb his feeble old ass up the ladder and fetch it for you, you would cut a penny in half to pay Ernie for your groceries (remember, shit was cheap back then), then he would put everything in giant paper bags for you.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mmmmm, Rotten Bananas (At The Bottom.)

I figured out how to get on the TTC for free. But it only works around the beginning of the month. Here’s what you do:

Monday, January 5, 2009

Welcome To Your Favourite Coin Laundry

The shitty part is, it’s not my favourite coin laundry, it’s the only one within walking distance to my house. The shittier part is, there’s a company that makes doormats that say "welcome to your favourite coin laundry".

Saturday, January 3, 2009

WTF Infomercials - The Snuggie

Could this be the most retarded invention ever? Hypothetcially, yes. But literally, yes.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Your Spice Rack Is Making Me Horny.

I saw an article about this website called dressregistry.com. Basically, women can register their dress for an event to ensure that no one else wears the same dress and they can avoid a fashion faux pas whereby they might accidentally run into the other person at the party and, for a split second, wonder why they look so ugly in that mirror.