Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Taking A Position On Sex Strikes

The female wing of a civil rights group is urging women in Togo to stage a week-long sex strike to demand the resignation of the country's president. (via)

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dearest Martha Day


Dearest Martha Day,

I was recently visiting a friend for afternoon tea and I spied your delectable dessert baking book in his kitchen.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Timbits I Can Do Without


When I go to the Tim Hortons drive-thru and order 'assorted' timbits, don't they know I mean 'no plain'? Who ever wants those?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Surgery Surprise


Let’s jump right into this one:

A Polish woman is facing three years in prison after she removed all of her ex-boyfriend's teeth during dental surgery just days after their breakup.

Monday, April 30, 2012

The Hundred Dollar Half-Second










This is an expensive lesson in preparation and lightning fast decision-making. And it only takes a half-second.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Teacher Caught With Pot










I had some thoughts about this article, which highlighted a 17-year old's plea to let his teacher keep his job after marijuana was found in the teacher's car. Of the teacher, he said:

"He talked, just talked, for whole class periods about the nature of life, as if it was a course in philosophy… he eventually would find a tangent and run with it. The class never got bored."

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Upsize Surprise










Starting Monday, January 23, the names of our hot cup sizes will shift to accommodate our brand new 24oz Extra Large cup. For example, a large Double-Double will become a medium Double-Double.There isn't a change in the price or amount of beverage - it's only the name of the size that's changing. (via Tim Hortons)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Dearest Mr Akpan










*Special thanks to Heather for forwarding this email.*

From: Federick Akpan
Subject: INTERESTED IN YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS

HELLO,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOUR STORE THAT:

WE ARE VERY MUCH INTERESTED IN YOUR LATEST PRODUCTS, WE ARE WILLING TO BUY LARGE QUANTITY OF YOUR PRODUCTS AND RESELL TO OUR RETAILERS HERE IN WEST AFRICA.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

What Are You Really Saying, Craigslist?



I've been scanning Craigslist for gigs - which I thought might be film or TV work, as I'm inclined to search for - and it seems that a lot of them are just thinly-veiled ads for sex slaves, cleaning ladies and cleaning lady sex slaves (the best of both worlds.)

Of course, you can't just say, "Does anybody want to fuck me and/or clean my house?" because that belongs in the personals section and, gross! Only creepy people post there. You say, "Young entrepreneur looking for a female friend." Sounds a little more like it could be a job for just the right whore girl.

Only sometimes they're open to interpretation by assholes like me. Case in point:

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Entitled To Damages: VOL 3




You might very well be retarded. Then again, you just might be Entitled To Damages.