Friday, December 19, 2008

Photoshop, Trucks and Gun Control

I hate it when this happens.

Photoshop freezes and the program won't quit. I tried the old force quit, the awkward option+apple+esc combo. That didn’t work. I thought force quit was in case the program was frozen? Well, guess what? It's frozen. Maybe I should have used "super extra double actually serious this time" quit.

I don't know the key combination for that, though.

Then I’ll finally get it to quit it and this window pops up that goes "Photoshop has unexpectedly quit."

No, it didn't actually. Not only did i expect it to quit, but i purposely chose the quit function so it would quit. It would be more helpful if it was like:

That's a dialog box I need.

Have you seen the new Dodge Ram commercials? They’re so badass. Trucks racing through canyons, zipping through swinging jalopy gauntlets, crashing through flaming buildings and all sorts of crazy shit. But there’s a disclaimer telling you not to try any of this fun stuff.

It’s like saying, “Check out all the awesome things Dodge trucks can do! Fuck, they’re so amazing and rugged. Just think of all the fun you could be having right now! But don’t actually do any of these things. We disabled the shit out of the safety features for the commercial and the trucks we sell to you will spontaneously combust if you look at them the wrong way.”

But you don’t care because they still look so badass and you have dreams of hopping sand dunes on a dude ranch in Montana. So you fork over $30 000 for the truck and then you’re severely disappointed when, aside from the fact that you have to forgo groceries for a week to put gas in it, your thrill rides are limited to traffic jams on the 401 with suit-and-tie-wearing desk jockeys in Land Rovers.

In other news, the police decided to roll out this program called Pistols for Pixels, whereby they will give you a Nikon digital camera for turning in a gun in an attempt to get guns off the streets. An excerpt from this article:

Jeanne Hamel graciously accepted the Nikon camera but she doesn't intend on using it.
It's for her church, to replace one that was stolen.

For it, though, she traded it for the Luger pistol that her soldier father Garnet Tayler brought home after the First World War, Hamel, 88, said yesterday.

"This would have been his souvenir," she said during an announcement calling the Pixels for Pistols gun amnesty program one of the best ever.

This woman turns in her father’s antique pistol for a digital camera that she’s going to give to her church. And guess what? While she’s out trading her family heirlooms for crappy modern technology, people in the street are getting shot by thugs who are keeping their guns because they don’t give a shit about taking pictures. If they could steal money and ipods by threateningly waving a Nikon camera at people, they would. But they can’t. So guns it is.

Good work, society. You need a fucking helmet.

And dig police chief Bill Blair.

Has this guy ever seen a camera in his life? How much faith can you really put in a man who can't even bother to straighten his glasses for a TV interview?


1. Nena - 99 Red Balloons
2. They Might Be Giants - Where Do They Make Balloons?
3. Teddy Ruxpin theme song

1 comment:

  1. This is the DUMBEST THING I have ever heard in the 22 years I've been alive.

    I think I just threw up a little bit.