Friday, June 12, 2009

Even More Shitty Facebook Ads

I don't think they can get any worse. They just still exist.

For a cake decorating service, these people sure mention murder a lot...

Unless there’s a little Inspector Gadget-style helicopter hidden in there, I have my doubts that this messenger bag will make your commute any faster.

"Get your G2 license now! Well, not right now... like, you still have to take the course. And book the test. And pass the test. So, when we say now, we really mean like five months from now. But you get it."

I can make human pyramids for free at home. Bam, just saved myself $2995.

I have a suspicion that this is an ad for a lesbian dating service but, obviously, neither of these girls are very lonely because they’re spending time with each other.

And then you never see your shit again because we sell it all on eBay.

You know what the best 24/7 news app is? A newspaper. Pick one up and quit tappity-tap-tap-tapping on your fucking Blackberry all day.

oh sorry we forgot how to use punctuation we no talk good buy car pay 30% interest happy

Ordered within 24 hours. Delivered sometime in the next 12 years.

Judging by your stack of cash, you sell a lot of drugs. And, judging by your camouflage shirt, you sell drugs for the army. And you probably have fifteen toilets in your house because sitting at home drinking Tim Hortons all day would make you shit like crazy.

I’ve got to see what? Aside from the fact that there’s even an association called Tourism Hamilton, can you imagine how great ‘this’ must be? They couldn’t even find a picture to describe it! I bet it’s a steel factory tour. Have fun.

Mmmm, tender loving tube up the ass! That’s real love. I’m glad they didn’t add a photo. Anyone else find it suspicious that they felt the need to mention their instruments are fully disposable?

This is what restraining orders were made for.

Everyone? I actually haven’t heard anyone talking about this game. If I wanted to sell drugs and shoot people, I would move to Jane and Finch.

A facebook ad for facebook ads? Jesus...


Four of my friends are really stupid. On the other hand, this could very well be carte blanche to set the rest of my friends ablaze.


  1. Simply wonderful.

    Just one question: Could I, like, order my own birth certificate, myself? Naw, I didn't think so.

  2. I think it's okay, as long as you're in the third trimester.

    And you can somehow convince your mother to press her vagina up to a mailbox so you can drop in the application...