Saturday, June 13, 2009

My Stanley Cup Highlights

So, the Penguins kicked some ass in Game 7 tonight. Well, it was only 2-1 so they kicked just enough ass. Speaking of ass, this guy was definitely checking out Crosby's.

Don’t you love it when hockey players fall down? I love it. Especially when it’s for no apparent reason, they just trip up and fall down.

I just find that hilarious. It’s like a golfer getting a 15 on a par 3.

I was really hoping one of them would drop the Cup. Do you think they have a practice cup that they skate with? You can’t just nonchalantly grab that thing and skate around with it. They must have Stanley-Cup-winning-ceremony practice. I mean, it’s the Stanley Cup.

VP - “Here’s our sport’s most prized possession, it’s absolutely priceless. It’s so valued; the guys bringing it out have a red carpet and gloves. Then we’re gonna give it to a bunch of hopped up screaming guys on skates and let them hold it up over their heads while they zip around on the ice.”
GM - “That’s a fantastic idea. Just, uh... tell them to be careful with it.”

I definitely heard a couple of those guys say “Fuckin eh!” when they were holding it. That’s cool. If I were ever on a major sports team and we made the playoffs and won, I would be damn sure I swore on live TV. Like, a lot.

Reporter “How do you feel after coming this far?”
Me – “Oh fuck man, let me tell you!” (spits) “It was fucking awesome! Like, holy fucking shit it was awesome!”
Reporter – (half-laughing) “Whoa now, there are children watching!”
Me – (ignoring reporter, screaming into camera) “YEAH MOTHER FUCKERS, WE WON!! WE FUCKING WON, YOU SONSOFBITCHES!!”
NBC News Van Guy -
Cut to commercial.

And notice when they’re presenting the cup, there’s some dude there in a suit handing it to one of the players... they both pause for a photo op... and neither of them are ever looking the same way?

Come to think of it, maybe they don’t have practice.

Or maybe they do and the suits don’t attend because they’re too busy in commissioner meetings, or whatever it is that the guys in suits do all day when they’re not standing around looking all pissed off with their arms crossed during the games.

Don’t they always look pissed? They’re always brooding, judging everyone, thinking about the ups and downs of financial investments or something. I really don’t know. Those guys just need to chill out. I mean, what are they doing in the players box?

They didn’t even grow playoff beards. That shouldn’t be allowed. But neither should sexual advances on the ice.

Anyways, good game.

In case you missed it or you were in the washroom for a really, really long time, check out a game recap here. And here’s an interesting article I found on the hockey handshake.

No comments:

Post a Comment