9 People I Can Do Without

1. Anyone who plugs their ears when the subway screeches really loudly – What are you, six years old?

2. A mortgage broker with a lisp – They just don’t sound like they know what they're talking about.

3. Anyone who says, “Oh my god! Did I tell you?” with this inflection as though I’m supposed to know what they’re talking about - I haven’t the faintest clue what you’re talking about.

4. Old people on scooters (REVISED) – The road is reserved for vehicles and cyclists. And, before you think about driving on the sidewalk, that's reserved for walking pedestrians. Basically, you're not welcome in public. Please refrain from leaving your homes.

5. Anyone who accidentally spell voila ‘viola’ – The effect is lost. Proofread your shit.

6. Hot girls who are also really stupid – Just because you look good in a skirt that’s so short it could be a belt, that’s no excuse for being a complete moron.

7. Anyone blocking the intersection/crosswalk on a red light – Did you not see that car in front of you? How the hell did you think you were going to fit in there? Hear that incessant rage of honks from furious drivers? You deserve that, you fucking intersection blocker.

8. Anyone who complains they’re broke when they’re not - When I’m broke, I mean I’m broke. If you tell me you’re broke and you have $1200 on your credit card and $800 in your savings account, you’re not broke.

9. Chip companies – Some settling may occur? Some settling, my ass! This is barely a third of a bag of chips!