Friday, August 13, 2010

WTF News: Cops Rescue Marinating Cat

Buffalo police rescued a cat from a Cheektowaga man who apparently was planning to make a meal out of his pet because he thought it was ill-tempered, authorities said Monday. (via)

And from the Toronto Star:

Buffalo Police found Navarro inside Korkuc’s trunk during a traffic stop on Sunday night.

I’m always amazed at the luck these police seem to have. That kind of thing happens on COPS all the time.

“Well, we stopped this man for going 60 in a 55 zone and after readily allowing us to search his vehicle, it turned out that he had a kilo of coke in the trunk, fifty thousand dollars in cash, a loaded handgun in the glove compartment and the body of Jimmy Hoffa stuffed in the door panel.”

You wonder why these guys even bother stopping for the police?

They were drawn by the animal’s cries. Once they popped the lid, they found the four-year-old cat caged and “marinating” in a spicy broth of red peppers, chilies, salt and oil.

Where could he possibly have been going with this future feline feast? I doubt it would have been very good. The article doesn’t mention anything about this guy being a cook, but I have to assume he just whipped this recipe up himself. Or maybe he googled steak marinade and substituted ‘cat’ for ‘cow’. Did he consider shaving the cat at all? Was he just gonna cook and eat it with the fur still on it? Ridiculous.

If this guy ever invited me to a barbecue, I would be sure not to attend. Or I‘d at least stick to salad.

Korkuc, 51, adopted Navarro in May. Apparently, the couple didn’t click.


Though Navarro is a neutered male, Korkuc accused the cat of getting pregnant.

The night before, Gary probably (drunkenly) found a positive pregnancy test in the (neighbour’s) garbage can and confronted Navarro about it. When the cat ignored Gary and fell asleep on the back of the couch, Gary flew into a furious rage and called Navarro a ‘filthy slutbag’ and told him that he needed to ‘pack his shit and get out’.

He also told police and animal shelter workers that he wanted to get rid of the cat because it was “possessive, greedy and wasteful” as well as “mean.”

What? You expected it to be nice? Awww, muffin! Why didn't you get a fucking dog? Have you ever had a cat or been in the presence of a cat? They're constantly acting entitled, like they own the place and are inconvenienced by your mere presence.

Cats are always mean. You just have to be mean right back. Stare it down. Pull its tail. Push it off the top of the couch when it falls asleep. Cats appreciate nothing if not a good fight. A good fight and a dead mouse. A good fight, a dead mouse and a swift kick in the ass when no one’s looking. Cats love that.

His apparent solution was to eliminate his unwanted housemate, and then get rid of the evidence.

Again with this 'apparent' crap! Are you guessing or do you just not know the facts here? This sounds like shitty reporting to me.

Cheaper than an acid bath, one supposes.

Ha! One supposes. Since when are corpse disposal prices at the discretion of the local rags? Did they even research this, or are they just assuming again? They seem to be really good at that.

Police charged Korkuc with failing to stop at a stop sign and one charge of animal cruelty.

Classic. You get pulled over for one thing and then get charged for something completely different.

Isn’t that a swift kick in the ass?


Why do I feel like I could find the same shirt dumpster diving?

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