Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Favourite Bus Driver

Whenever I take the bus, I try to make a point of thanking the driver for the ride. The dude sits behind a giant wheel driving a bunch of thankless fucks around town in a vehicle the size of a city block. If he wanted to kill you, he totally could.



So I figure a little gratitude is in order. And I know some will argue that they already paid to get on the bus, but I don't think that replaces gratitude. Unless payment is a blow job, in which case it's both. But I'm not about to blow the bus driver. Unless they don't make me pay the fare. Which one didn't a couple weeks ago (but I still didnt blow him). I got on the bus and he had his hand over the farebox. He goes, "It's broken, just go ahead."



Which was cool, but a little odd. How can a farebox be broken? All you do is drop money into it. As long as there are still four sides, it should be working just fine.

ANYWAYS...

The only problem is, when I say thanks, I always sound the same. "Thanks, have a good night."
I know sometimes, people will throw out a dude, man, or the formal sir. My dad sometimes calls people "Chief". And when I use the word almost, he also likes to point out that, "Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades," a phrase I find myself using more often, although the meaning of it is still somewhat sketchy. He also likes, "Up shit creek without a paddle."

But, yet again, I digress.

When thanking the bus driver, one may also further modify the thanks with thanks a lot, thanks a bunch or thanks a million. A million of what, I'm not sure. I would personally, just once, like to thank someone a fuckload.

On the way home tonight, I decided to try a little something new. When the bus pulled up to my stop, I tossed a, "thanks, Captain!" with a casual nod and salute.

I'm not sure if he had heard this before or if he was just quick on his feet (or rather, his Air-Ride seat). But he threw back an equally clever, "Anytime, Skipper."

That's a cool bus driver.

For anyone who's interested, this is my second favourite bus driver:



RANDOM BONUS: LAZY HALLOWE'EN COSTUME

I think a fantastic idea would be to go with two friends as "Weekend At Bernie's". I just need to find two guys who are dumb enough to drag me around all night.

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