Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Favourite Bus Driver

Whenever I take the bus, I try to make a point of thanking the driver for the ride. The dude sits behind a giant wheel driving a bunch of thankless fucks around town in a vehicle the size of a city block. If he wanted to kill you, he totally could.

So I figure a little gratitude is in order. And I know some will argue that they already paid to get on the bus, but I don't think that replaces gratitude. Unless payment is a blow job, in which case it's both. But I'm not about to blow the bus driver. Unless they don't make me pay the fare. Which one didn't a couple weeks ago (but I still didnt blow him). I got on the bus and he had his hand over the farebox. He goes, "It's broken, just go ahead."

Which was cool, but a little odd. How can a farebox be broken? All you do is drop money into it. As long as there are still four sides, it should be working just fine.


The only problem is, when I say thanks, I always sound the same. "Thanks, have a good night."
I know sometimes, people will throw out a dude, man, or the formal sir. My dad sometimes calls people "Chief". And when I use the word almost, he also likes to point out that, "Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades," a phrase I find myself using more often, although the meaning of it is still somewhat sketchy. He also likes, "Up shit creek without a paddle."

But, yet again, I digress.

When thanking the bus driver, one may also further modify the thanks with thanks a lot, thanks a bunch or thanks a million. A million of what, I'm not sure. I would personally, just once, like to thank someone a fuckload.

On the way home tonight, I decided to try a little something new. When the bus pulled up to my stop, I tossed a, "thanks, Captain!" with a casual nod and salute.

I'm not sure if he had heard this before or if he was just quick on his feet (or rather, his Air-Ride seat). But he threw back an equally clever, "Anytime, Skipper."

That's a cool bus driver.

For anyone who's interested, this is my second favourite bus driver:


I think a fantastic idea would be to go with two friends as "Weekend At Bernie's". I just need to find two guys who are dumb enough to drag me around all night.

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