Health Canada Halts Upfront Drug Deals

Apparently, the government is owed a lot of money from medical marijuana users and has decided to implement a ‘purchase-in-advance’ system to curb non-payment of debts.

(Click article to enlarge.)

They want full payment in advance now? That's not a new idea. Haven’t drug dealers always worked like this? I highly doubt your local pot pusher would accept IOUs (especially not for over a million dollars.)

They say they want to "streamline the order and payment process"? That sounds more confusing than it needs to be. What are they going to do, send you a threatening letter? That shit’s not effective whatsoever. This is where Health Canada could learn a lesson from street-level dealers: You order, then you pay, or they streamline your face. That’s how drug deals work.

Who would you rather owe money to: this guy?

Or Leona Aglukkaq, Canada’s Minister of Health?

She certainly doesn’t look very intimidating (although she does look a little milf-ish with those librarian glasses on.) I mean, She’s no Helena Guergis or Candice Hoeppner... actually, come to think of it, I’m sure I could list 12 MPs that are more attractive than Leona Aglukkaq. Then we should try to get a calendar going.

(Y’know, for charity.)

The attractiveness of our members of parliament aside, it's good to see Health Canada taking that crucial step from street hustlers: get the money up front. Clearly, this is why the system was failing!

It really doesn’t surprise me that people getting high forget to pay not only their regular bills, but their weed bills too. Who has time for bills when there are pizzas to be ordered and How I Met Your Mother marathons to be watched?

(On a sidenote, we ought to elect Robin Scherbatsky to Parliament and have her pose for the calendar. Hot damn.)

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