Okay first off, I have no more friends. I‘ve mentioned this recipe to probably a dozen people and every single one of them has told me it sounded disgusting without even bothering to try it.
Even two friends who I would consider good cooks both hummed and hawed about it with out flat out saying, “Dude, that’s fucking sick.”
Why? They didn’t even try it!
Anyways, screw ‘em. I think it’s delicious. As a wise man once said, “You are what you eat and I’m cheap, fast and easy.” I know exactly what’s going into them too. Four things. These things took me like ten minutes to make. Are you serious? You don’t have ten minutes to make a delicious, nutritious snack for lunch? Who are you now, Donald Trump?
So today, we’re making tuna quesadillas. Or at least I am. Here’s what the recipe calls for. I don’t really care, but it’s like, a decent reference, y’know?
• Canned flaked tuna in water, drained (1/4 cup) – of course it should be drained. Who wants to taste the sludge from a tuna can? Whatever a quarter cup is, I dunno. I just emptied a can into the bowl.
• Grated medium cheddar cheese (3 tbsp) – like I’m gonna grate cheese and measure it by the tablespoon? I just grate it right into the bowl. Also, fuck cheddar cheese. I like marble cheese, so that’s what I used.
• Mild (or medium) salsa (2 tbsp) – Here we go again. What if I like hot salsa? Will this not work at all with the hot salsa? Jeez. Just say ‘salsa’.
• Finely chopped green onion (1 tbsp) – I have nothing to say about green onions, except my friends mom used to only use the white root of the green onion and throw out the ‘bad’ green part. She was clearly insane.
Anyways, mix that stuff all into a bowl.
• Whole wheat flour tortilla (22cm diameter) – Again, do what you will. Get those booger green tortillas if it tickles your fancy, I don’t think it really matters. Put them on the small tortillas if you want to. It's your show.
You wanna spread that mess on half of the tortilla, then fold it over.
Spray the frying pan, heat that sucker up on medium-high for a few minutes each side, cut into wedges, let it cool and eat.
And if you don’t think they’re delicious, I will punch you right in the mouth.