Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Why Do You Hate My Quesadillas?

Okay first off, I have no more friends. I‘ve mentioned this recipe to probably a dozen people and every single one of them has told me it sounded disgusting without even bothering to try it.

Even two friends who I would consider good cooks both hummed and hawed about it with out flat out saying, “Dude, that’s fucking sick.”

Why? They didn’t even try it!

Anyways, screw ‘em. I think it’s delicious. As a wise man once said, “You are what you eat and I’m cheap, fast and easy.” I know exactly what’s going into them too. Four things. These things took me like ten minutes to make. Are you serious? You don’t have ten minutes to make a delicious, nutritious snack for lunch? Who are you now, Donald Trump?

So today, we’re making tuna quesadillas. Or at least I am. Here’s what the recipe calls for. I don’t really care, but it’s like, a decent reference, y’know?

• Canned flaked tuna in water, drained (1/4 cup) – of course it should be drained. Who wants to taste the sludge from a tuna can? Whatever a quarter cup is, I dunno. I just emptied a can into the bowl.

• Grated medium cheddar cheese (3 tbsp) – like I’m gonna grate cheese and measure it by the tablespoon? I just grate it right into the bowl. Also, fuck cheddar cheese. I like marble cheese, so that’s what I used.

• Mild (or medium) salsa (2 tbsp) – Here we go again. What if I like hot salsa? Will this not work at all with the hot salsa? Jeez. Just say ‘salsa’.

• Finely chopped green onion (1 tbsp) – I have nothing to say about green onions, except my friends mom used to only use the white root of the green onion and throw out the ‘bad’ green part. She was clearly insane.

Anyways, mix that stuff all into a bowl.

• Whole wheat flour tortilla (22cm diameter) – Again, do what you will. Get those booger green tortillas if it tickles your fancy, I don’t think it really matters. Put them on the small tortillas if you want to. It's your show.

You wanna spread that mess on half of the tortilla, then fold it over.

Spray the frying pan, heat that sucker up on medium-high for a few minutes each side, cut into wedges, let it cool and eat.

And if you don’t think they’re delicious, I will punch you right in the mouth.


  1. This sounds delish...minus the tuna. I guarantee you that if I opened a can of tuna, it'd have bones in it. Are those used for a crust or crouton of sorts? And might as well get a booger green tortilla, it's not far off from the color of the puke you'll regurgitate when you get food/mercury poisoning from that shit. You know what quesadilla means? It means "cheese in tortilla". Yeah. Not "funky ass fish in tortilla". Taco Bell makes 'em for a dollar if you're that hard up. But with, like, chicken , you know.

    Who knows? I might try it. I am rather fond of chicken joe pasta...

  2. Hahaha this sounds even more disgusting now, sorry dude. Along with what Laci mentioned about the mercury poisoning, you've got "marble" cheese (what brand, Cracker Barrel?) which probably isn't even real cheese, and you "sprayed" the pan before you cooked it with god knows what.

    Sorry, this food snob ain't gonna eat no tuna quesadilla.

  3. I am still your friend, and may try it anyway, but I'll probably replace tuna with ground chicken or something.

  4. You're BOTH missing the point of the blog: I already know you hate it. You didn't even try it, but you keep complaining. It's fucking good. Laci, I'm waiting right here for you to open a can of tuna and find bones in it. Erica, you could have deduced that 'good, fast and cheap' meant you wouldn't like it But nooooooo! You go ahead and judge my snacks. Judge the shit out of them. lol

  5. You said "cheap, fast and easy" actually. No mention of "good!" :P

    Come over and I'll make you way better snacks.

    And I'm not complaining! I said ew when you told me what you were eating and you freaked out. I'm going to shut up about this subject.

  6. Why would I post it if it wasn't good? I'm adamant on equal quesadilla rights. lol

  7. And Graham, chicken quesadillas are delicious. Take a fucking chance. lol

  8. I'm disappointed that the obvious Tuna Quesadilla joke has yet to be made. Shame on you all.

  9. Hey man, you thought my Yolanda joke was weak sauce so I'm keeping my mouth shut.


  11. I think your tuna thing sounds okay. I might try to make one *thumbs up*