Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mmmmm, Rotten Bananas (At The Bottom.)

I figured out how to get on the TTC for free. But it only works around the beginning of the month. Here’s what you do:

Go to the attendant and ask to buy a Metropass. I was at Woodbine station to get a Metropass and she said, “Sorry, we’re all out. Try another station.” And she just waved me through. Because she assumed I intended to buy a Metropass. And I did. But if I hadn’t, I would have just gotten a free ride.

The only downside is that, if they do have Metropasses, instead of $2.75, it’ll cost you $109.

Sometimes, I'll swipe my Metropass the wrong way and the turnstile doesn't turn and I get hit right in the nuts. That sucks.

How do midgets get through the turnstile? Do they duck underneath, or do they have to push the thing? I imagine it would hit them in the chin.

Here's a funny picture involving midgets.

Here's a funny picture involving Segways, but no midgets.

These are the kinds of things that keep me from getting ahead in life.

Oh, but back to the TTC for a second. I came across this awesome link and thought you guys (like, the four people who read this) might dig it.

They're TTC station decals that you can put up on your walls. I thought they were pretty cool. Then again, I also think plaid shirts are pretty cool, so our opinions may differ.

Here's the world record holder for Fastest Clapper.

Seriously? What kind of social life does this guy have?

If I was him, I'd install The Clapper and use it as a strobe light.


I’ll buy bananas and eat two or three, then the rest just go bad. And I’ll put them in the freezer because I’ll rationalize, “I’ll make banana bread. I hear you can make banana bread from rotten bananas. I’ve heard of people doing this. That’s what I’ll do.”

I’ve never made banana bread in my life. I have old black frozen bananas in my freezer that have been there for two years but I can’t throw them out because I’m like, “No, I’m going to make banana bread with those.”

Seriously. I will.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Couple of

    1. That reminds me of an episode of Corner Gas that I watched, where Brent gets a $100. Well, he goes to buy something small at a store, and they don't have change, so they just give it to him for free. And he figures if he keeps doing this to get small things, he'll get them free because no one will have change! He does this all over town until one guy acutally can break a hundred...and he looks so crestfallen.

    There is nothing better than seeing some cocky bitch dressed up in D&G heading for those turnstiles like they are just going to melt away at her hotness and then WHAM!! Malfunction! And she looks all offended, like it was a random homeless man who punched her in the pussy instead of her just being too rushed to slide her card properly, because she's a fucking slut retard who, despite growing up in TO and riding the subway her whole damn life, she still can't figure out which way the stripe should face in the goddamn machine.

    As for the bananas, well, that's just fucking nasty.
    (I say that with love.)

    Another job well done, my man!

  3. I feel your pain for the bananas.

    I'm always like "mmm, bananas! yum! i'll get 4!" then I eat one, and 2 days later the rest go bad. :(

    Apples, on the other hand...