Blackberries and Bastard Peaches

A few weeks ago, my brother came to town to see a Kevin Smith Q&A. We hung out for the day before the show and, as much fun as we had, I had to draw the line when he ate what I thought was the last donut (It turns out there were eight more in the box that I hadn't bothered checking.)



*No reason to blur that, I don't think.

While he was here, aside from eating all the dounts (that rat bastard), he let me check out his phone.

My brother works for RIM, where they make Blackberries. So naturally, he got himself a Blackberry. Probably for free. If I worked at RIM, I’d be stealing so many Blackberries. All of my friends would have new Blackberries.



And I’d be fired in less than a week. But I digress…

The Blackberry has a QWERTY keyboard. For the life of me, I couldn’t type shit on this thing. I’m used to texting on a small numberpad configuration, but I’m used to typing on a full-sized keyboard. So when the two worlds meet and I try to type regularly on a small keyboard, I’m fucked.

I guess it’s one of those things that you pick up with practice but, for now, screw the Blackberry.



Hey, speaking of Blackberries… I was eating berry yogurt the other day and I was thinking of how peach yogurt gets such a bad rap.

Think about yogurt. There’s blueberry, raspberry, strawberry, blackberry, Barry White, etc.



There’s even fieldberry, which I suspect is just a mish-mash of all the rejected berries from the other flavours.

But then there’s peach.

Peach is like the black sheep bastard son of the yogurt family. And the black sheep is the emo one.



Even vanilla is made from vanilla beans, and the bean is cousin to the berry. The closest thing a peach has to a bean is a pit.

Poor bastards.

Do a peach a favour. Eat more peach yogurt. Because if we keep shutting them out, we’re gonna find a basketful of rotten suicide victims next time we go to the fruit market.

RANDOM BONUS: SO FUCKING CUTE