Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Karma Story

Sometimes, karma can be a bitch. Then, other times, karma can be that cute girl next door that you secretly watch undress through the window.

She was more like the latter for me today.

On the way to work, I noticed two clearly lost guys looking at a map and awkwardly pointing in random directions. I could have stopped to help them, but I didn’t.

Minus one point.

Later on, I walked down to Famous BBQ Express to grab some lunch - the same place where I told them my name was Craig - and saw a woman going towards The Gap with a baby stroller. She tried to push the wheelchair button so the door would open, while also awkwardly holding onto the stroller. I probably could have held the door for her, but I didn’t.

Minus another point. Now I’m down by two.

(By the way, what the hell does this woman thinks she’s doing?!)

Anyways, I’m getting lunch… the spicy pork combo is $7.90. And by combo, I don’t mean a measly drink and fries. I mean heaping pile of rice with delicious succulent pork, coleslaw, salad and macaroni salad. It’s practically two meals. I have $15 in my pocket, so I hand over $10 and get $2.10 in change.

On the way back to the office from Famous BBQ, I saw a dirty man huddled in an abandoned doorway. I took one step past him but stopped, reached into my pocket, and gave him $2.10. I counted that as two points, so I was even again.

(In other news, I think this guy is also looking for change.)

On the way home from work, I decided to stop by the corner store and get a snack. I slung a bottle of Coke Zero onto the counter and, before the elderly asian lady rang it up, I said, “Actually, I’ll grab some chips too.” It came to $6.00 even.

But, as you’ll recall, I only had $5.

So I says, “Can I pay with debit?” She shakes her head. I tell her, “I’ll just get the pop then.”
After a short pause, she’s like, “You pay me tomorrow?”
“You pay me tomorrow?”

Apparently, karma was on my side. It felt like an episode of My Name Is Earl, except minus the hot mexican chick and plus one old asian lady.

I promised to stop by tomorrow to settle my tab.

That is, of course, unless I see a woman with a stroller who needs help. Then I’ll just do that instead and, being one karma point ahead, skip out on my debt. At which point I’ll actually lose one and be back at even, so that’s cool.

Also cool is this karma chameleon. He looks like he would dig everything you say.


I learned how to make these origami money shirts a while ago. Piss off your friends by doing this to all of their paper money.

Bonus points if you can fashion some Dockers to go with it.

1 comment:

  1. Karma is over-rated and full of shit!! I stopped by to check on a friend to see if he needed anything, and he tells me he's got the stomach flu. As I'm leaving, I think...fuck..what if I get the flu? And guess what, motherfucker? Just from less than five minute contact of just breathing the same air from a six foot radius and I've got the shit. So no good deed, motherfucker. No good deed.

    Or it could have been that I deserved to get the flu? In that case, touche, karma.

    Leave it to you to give your last change to a homeless dude. Homeless people always were your greatest weakness.