However, Roger Ebert also looks a lot like Sally Jessie Raphael, so I call his credibility (and sexuality) into question. Therefore, I've decided to present Fingers & Thumbs.
Things I dig, thumbs up. Things that are pissing me off can have a big helping of fuck you.
I don’t want to call the Skydome Rogers Centre. Furthermore, I hate calling the Paramount Scotiabank Theatre, I hate calling Dominion Metro and I hate that the Edmonton Oilers play at Rexall Place.
IGNORANCE TO EXPRESS LANES
People who go through the express lane with a cart full of shit; I’ve seen this several times and it irks me to no end. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! That woman doesn’t even have enough room to bag all of that, you fucking idiot!
When I think my iPod updates itself and it doesn’t. I’ll be sitting on the bus trying to scroll through and find the song I just put on my iPod, first by name, and then by artist, and then by using the artist’s name as the song name because some people name files something ridiculous like One Hit Wonders - Stampeders - Sweet City Woman (1). Why the fuck would I even have a list called One Hit Wonders? Those are the same files that leave the artist column blank, so iTunes alphabetically shits it out at the bottom of the list. Fuck that.
REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA
A gruesome rock opera about a futuristic organ transplant company that repossesses organs from non-paying clients. This movie is fucking crazy. If the complexity of the story doesn’t make you want to throw up, the organ reposessions will. Check out the trailer here.
DEMETRI MARTIN’S “IF I”
“The unexamined life is not worth living." In his 2004 show, Demetri takes this phrase and, through puzzles, wordplay and useless talents, goes ridiculously overboard with it. I fucking love this show.
(YouTube links to show segments: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6)
ATM AT THE LAUNDROMAT
I got $100 out of the ATM the other day and, as I wondered why the machine only dispensed $10’s, it spit out a $20. Should the $20 have been a $10? Or did I get an extra $10? Perhaps I’ll never know. Either way, thanks for the extra ten bucks.
Shock of The Week was actually an afterthought. Fuck... now I'm gonna have to re-design the banner.
SHOCK OF THE WEEK
Two kids in Germany were so in love that they decided they’d run off and elope in Africa. Who cares, right?
Oh yeah. The kids were five and six (that's friggin' adorable.)
FAKE SHOCK OF THE WEEK
Remember the US Airways flight that hit a goose and crashed into the Hudson River? There were no fatalities and the pilot is being called a hero.
Now the farmer who owned the goose is suing the shit out of everybody.
What are your fingers and thumbs this week?