Monday, March 23, 2009

Ladders while you wait.

Here's a little-known fact: I worked at Wal Mart in high school, and all through college. Actually, probably a well-known fact. Especially to my family, friends and anyone who just read that sentence (If you jumped into this story mid-paragraph, you totally missed the set-up.)

I used to sneak into HR and take blank name badges and sheets of letters, so all my co-workers and I would have different names under our real name badges for fun.

Bunch of idiot kids.

This one day, I'm wandering around the Hardware section - that was pretty much my job, wander around and look busy - and Mario from the Hardware section calls me over and points up to these ladders on the top shelf. He goes, "We need to get one of those ladders." And the customer goes, "Maybe we need to get a ladder?" And Mario goes, "Yeah, let me get a ladder." And I'm standing there thinking...

"Is this guy using a ladder to get to another ladder? Who the hell put the ladders on the top shelf?"

My boss sees me waiting around and he goes, "What are you doing?"
Me - "I'm waiting for Mario to bring the ladder."
Boss - "For what?"
Me - So I can get another ladder."
Boss - "....."

Isn't that akin to owning a car dealership so big that you shuttle people to their new cars? Are people even buying that many cars that you just have millions of new cars all the time? Come on.

I never got those "While-U-Wait" stores either. Like SHOES SHINED WHILE-U-WAIT.

Me - "While I wait for what?"
Shoe Guy - "Your shoes to be shined."
Me - "I didn't need them to be shined in the first place."

Why would you even say "While you wait"? What, are they gonna run off with no shoes? Of course they have to wait. McDonalds serves breakfast while you wait... for the damn breakfast. You don't see them advertising this feature.

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